When I was a middle school teacher, each year we had an instance of a girl who had a crush on a boy and sent him a topless photo at his request. The girl always regretted it because every single time that photo would get shared around with the other boys. The girls just did not understand the ramifications of doing so, no matter how many times they were told that the internet is forever. At least for now, thanks to Nicholas Kristof, they don’t have to worry about their photo being uploaded to Pornhub.

If you haven’t read Kristof’s piece in the New York Times, I suggest you do so soon. He tells the stories of several girls whose lives were ruined by the relentlessness of videos of their rapes being posted and reposted on Pornhub. The pictures and videos have haunted them into their adult lives. The stories are not only heartbreaking because the events were so heinous, but because the women are constantly retraumatized by the videos. Can you imagine if someone recognized you from watching a video of your rape? It’s just unthinkable. How do you heal from a terrible trauma that continues in cyberspace? …

Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, the incidence and severity of mental health issues in children are rapidly rising according to a Centers for Disease Control study published in November. The number of mental health-related emergency department visits increased sharply beginning in mid-March 2020 through October with increases of 24% among children aged 5–11 years and 31% among adolescents aged 12–17 years, compared with the same period in 2019.

Anxiety in particular has been amplified by the movement to online learning. For students with learning disabilities, the change means that they no longer have access to the individualized teacher support that could happen within the classroom. For children with autism who crave routine, the upset to their schedules creates emotional chaos. …

Mention the word menopause in public, and you will likely hear a snicker somewhere. Women themselves joke about needing a fan as a way of deflecting their discomfort, but menopause is not a laughing matter. It is a medical issue that needs to be discussed without laughter or reproach. After all, more than half of the population on Earth will encounter menopause and need information about how to stay healthy and comfortable.

I don’t know about other women, but when I have approached my doctors about symptoms, including women doctors, I have had little luck in getting any helpful feedback or advice. And, I am the one who has to bring up the topic. Doesn’t it seem like your doctor should be asking you questions about your menstrual cycles and reproductive system regularly? …

As the ballots were feverishly counted in many states last week, we received a comprehensive lesson on how those ballots make their way through the election system. Those whose ballots were counted are lucky. For some, the ability to access a ballot was taken from them, or they had to go to great lengths in order to vote. It just shouldn’t be that hard.

Here in North Carolina, where we still don’t know the official results for many state and judicial offices, we had two weeks of early voting. So many people used this option or absentee voting, that election day voting was small. I was working the polls, and time was standing still because there were so few voters left in our county. …

What does religious oppression look like in the United States today? Andrea Anderson of Minnesota could tell you a story about that. She had to drive to many different pharmacies after being denied the morning after pill at her local pharmacy. The pharmacist claimed that he was “not comfortable” with filling her prescription. He called another pharmacy to see if they had it, but that pharmacist also refused to fill the prescription but told him that it was available at a third pharmacy. He did not share that information with Ms. Anderson. In desperation, Ms. Anderson called the third pharmacy and was able to obtain the pill by driving 50 miles each way in a snow storm. Why should the pharmacist’s religious beliefs supersede her perfectly legal healthcare choices? If he cannot serve everyone within our society regardless of his moral and religious beliefs, then he should not be in a role where he needs to do so. There are varying laws depending on the state in which you reside around these religious exemptions, but even if the law is on your side as a patient, there is no guarantee that you will get the care you need. …

Last week, I committed to working on voter safety with organizations across North Carolina at the early voting polls. I am humbled to do this work with over 4,000 others who are rightfully concerned that voter intimidation may happen at their polls. Additionally, each of the political parties will have up to two poll watchers inside the polls and a poll watcher outside. While I am a white person who has the privilege of going to vote without worrying about harassment, many North Carolinians have great trepidation about exercising their right. Living in North Carolina, where we have many different factions of white supremacist groups along with President Trump’s call for his supporters to go watch at the polls, there will no doubt be some places where there may be attempts at voter intimidation. …

“In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous,” yeah right. The way that sexual assault cases are adjudicated through the American criminal justice system leaves many survivors with no legal recourse and significant emotional scars. Without a Detective Stabler or Benson (apologies to Law and Order: SVU) to fight for them, only between 4 and 5 of the rapists out of every one thousand sexual assaults in the United States will be convicted and incarcerated. Survivors are frequently doubted, and even if they are believed, they must undergo a rape kit examination and repeat their story over and over to various detectives, district attorneys, and face the courtroom cross-examination. These are all retraumatizing events that many survivors want to avoid. When only 4.6 …

When my husband and I were younger with small children, I was constantly bothered by the fact that my husband could walk by a mess and just keep going. It wasn’t like he was a misogynist or too good for housework. After all, we took turns cooking and doing dishes and divided other chores and childcare duties. One day, I received some words of wisdom from his grandmother when she was visiting and this happened right in front of her. I grumbled after he left the room, and she said, “Anna, he doesn’t even see it.” Her words helped me understand that he actually did not perceive the mess and therefore would not be inclined to do anything about it. …